Ebayer's Anonymous?

Help!! Do they have a recovery group for Ebayers? You know, like gamblers anonymous, or alcoholics anonymous? I can see it now: "Hi my name is Donna and I'm an Ebayer." (The people in the group will all nod their heads and mumble, "Hello Donna"....with that knowingness that only others who suffer the same affliction can provide. I will be standing there admitting that yes I did win the crystal parrot brooch that I bid on only to turn around and bid on another cool one I saw. You know you're hooked when you time your watch so you can be sure and rush home to your computer for the final minutes. Hell I even signed up to get a cell phone alert going-3 minutes before closing just in case I couldn't be there. At an additional 25 or 50 cents or more each time they do it. The final phone bill will tell the tale. That appears to be a new addition to the Ebay "experience" as they call it. NEVER have I ever sat breathlessly, continually refreshing the page, counting down the minutes and then seconds to see if the bid I put in at the last minute is going to be outdone. My heart was pounding, my breathing accelerated and my upper lip was perspiring. Notice I said perspiring rather than sweat. Ladies perspire, men sweat. FYI in case you didn't know. Aren't these classic signs of addiction? I understand that casino gamblers can call 1-all-bets-off and they will be banned from gambling in the big casinos. So I have come up with a number 1-800-no2-ebay। That should do it!

Anyway, back to my bid. I'm sitting there counting down the last seconds, in the last minute and finally it states YOU ARE THE WINNING BIDDER! I jumped up from my chair flinging my arms around & yelling "YES! I won!", knocking over my drink in the process (I have to drink out of mugs with lids because I'm such a klutz), then scaring the hell out of my Shih Tzu's with my outburst. Since that is behavior they rarely see they went running in terror from the room. Of course if I don't get that 12 step program for people hopelessly addicted to Ebay I might be scaring them a lot more in the future. Poor little darlings. I found them huddled under the dining room table shaking. I consoled them and explained it was all good news and got them excited and running around barking at me. It became a game then.

It seems that our weather here in Missouri has gone from the 30's & 40's to over 80 degrees today. And add to it the March winds blowing anything and everything into the next state. Forget about fixing your hair and dig out your shorts because this week those coats and boots hanging by the door aren't needed. Next week they might be but today they weren't. We are used to having several seasons of clothing laying out here in Misery..uh..Missouri. Tomorrow promises to be more of the high temperatures and blowing wind. This time I'm taking my mother to the city for a doctors appointment. I'll be transferring her off at my father-in-laws house to my sisters car and she will drive her over into Kansas City while I go back to the nursing home and check on Harold. Driving in the city makes me a total nervous wreck. Totally. People are just crazy when they drive. And most have no patience for people like me who don't know where they are going or are trying to find alternate routes at the last second because of road construction. I understand Missouri has the worst roads in the nation, or so I read somewhere. This does not surprise me. You can immediately tell when you've crossed the line over the Mighty Mo and into Kansas because the roads immediately turn smooth like you're riding on glass. Sometimes I just feel like Alice in Wonderland here. I won't even touch that area right now. Maybe another post.

Driving in the wind doesn't make it pleasant either. I have been stopped on windy days for suspicion of drunk driving. Seriously! I was in another vehicle that handled differently. I think the trooper thought I was weird, but he's not the first and won't be the last. I'll have to remember not to let anything else blow out of the car that I might have to chase across the parking lot again like my last visit to the Home/Prison. This time I'm not taking anything for Harold other than some new jogging suits, clean laundry and his beloved milk shake that he has made me promise to bring each time I visit. I guess nursing home food leaves a lot to be desired as does anything else in one.

Now that I think about it, I am going to have a load again. Maybe I need one of those wire baskets on wheels older people use. I mean, why not? Mom gave me her old walker, as she got a new one. She explained that "you never know when it might come in handy." I started to laugh at her and tell her, "I'm young! I don't need no stinking walker!" But then I remembered the times I've been laid up unable to walk, from back pain, only to use the furniture as a crutch or a stick or umbrella. Jeez age sneaks up on us! So maybe a wire basket on wheels is a good idea after all. I suppose in ten years or less I'll be driving a motorized scooter around town.

God just shoot me now.

More later.......